Marital Settlement (TV Style)

I heard about it, and read about it (thanks, Death&Taxes!), but I didn’t see the episode of the TV series 30 Rock when Jack and his wife Bianca settled their divorce. The negotiations were heated:

Bianca: I want our divorce to be final.
Jack: All right. I want back all the jewelry I ever bought you.
Bianca: Fine.
Jack: I want the art supplies that I gave you on your 40th birthday, and any subsequent art projects you made with them.
Bianca: Fine.
Jack: I want all of our love letters.
Bianca: (chuckling and waving her hand) Oh, fine.
Jack: I want all of your parents’ love letters.
Bianca: Fine.
Jack: I want full stake in the Arby’s franchises we bought outside of Telluride.
Bianca: Oh, damnit Johnny, you know I love my Big Beef n’ Cheddar!

As one of my colleagues tells her clients: “It’s not about the toaster, but it’s really about the toaster.”